Just A Friend

So I realize, the song “Just a Friend” by Biz Markie has nothing to do with being turned down and told that they are just a friend, but listening to that song, it’s hard for that idea not to pop into your head. Last week when I was studying in the library, Biz Markie’s words sent me back to a time where I was just a friend, those days of just being head over heels for a girls but not being able to do anything about it. Well either way this one is for anyone who has been told that they are just a friend, guys and girls…

Let me start of by saying there is no greater fear in life than rejection, for me at least. Sometimes we live our life with that fear constantly on your mind. It’s rough because when it comes to girls or relationships, confidence goes a long way. It’s tough to be confident when your biggest fear is indeed rejection.

What’s an easy way to get around this fear? Maybe striking a friendship of some sort. However, when doing this, you set yourself up to walk the slippery slope of being in the friend zone. I am not saying being in the friend zone is bad, but if you fall into the friend zone with someone of interest it’s like going to a concert and to see Justin Timberlake, only to find out it’s only going to be Joey Fatone (probably the most worthless member of N*Sync). Either way, there is great disappointment when falling into that bottomless pit of the friend zone.

But who knows, maybe you can stay positive and dig yourself out of the hole and start trying to make baby steps towards something more. You can try various tactics, such as the little by little distancing yourself, in attempt to maybe spark something in that person of interest, maybe make them miss you or realize how important you are to them, but usually that does not work because you are just too crazy about the person, and you cannot handle not interacting with that person just because you care that much and because you are just drawn in. It is vicious when you really think about it. How much you care for someone can really just end up hurting you more.

Either way very few make that jump out of the friend zone, which is truly baffling to me. People in the friend zone usually have to listen to that person of interest complain about how they can’t find a decent person, or someone that liked them. Friends have to listen to this and throw their feelings to the side and try and offer unbiased suggestions to keep the comfort level, when in reality an interested friend may just want to slap the person complaining and open their eyes to what they have.

Honest to God, what is really the key to relationships? For shallow hook-ups, I guess physical appearance is key. Attraction matters more than anything else. Of course attraction is important in any relationship though. I just find it hilarious, when hearing examples from my friends and other instances, that when looking for relationships, they strive to find something “new”. I find that to be a flawed view. Nothing stays new for long. Friends offer something that is familiar, but it’s funny that all things in a sense become familiar. I believe that even the transition from friendship to a relationship is indeed something “new” because it breaks that pattern of familiarity of being just friends, but at the same time it’s nice to have that familiarity as time passes. When passion slowly fades as a relationship continues, what does it begin to look like? Hmmm, looks like a friendship.

That’s why it is baffling to me that some friendships never make that jump to romantic relationships because essentially a relationship is an intimate friendship. And in the long run, I want that person, I can count on. I want to know a person’s true colors and not have some girl’s inner skank bite me in the ass later (haha calm down that was a joke), but honestly I rather know a person and know that if and when all that passion disappears, I can enjoy hanging out with the person without having to resort to physical acts to keep us entertained.

Either way friends, how many bad relationships must you painfully have to witness and pretend to support, until you get your chance? That answer is maybe never, so honestly if you’re fed up, don’t wait around and be that safety net. You can’t allow your optimism to hold you back, get out there because they definitely are.